Living Childfree
“Wow… where do I even begin? Hi, my name is Marcela. I’m 25, married to my high school crush, have two spunky, handsome dogs, and I’m proudly childfree.
I hate to label myself as that Christian girl who doesn’t want kids, but at the same time, I think it’s important to share my story honestly. My hope is that at least one person out there might feel less alone—and know that there is a community of people living the same life. My journey really started about a year ago, but if we rewind even further, the roots go back to my childhood.
Christian Upbringing
Unlike most little girls, I never dreamed of being a mom, and I never played with dolls. I grew up as the youngest of four, with three older brothers, so I was very much a free-spirited tomboy (sorry, Mom!). My faith has always been central in my life—I’m deeply involved with my church, and my religion has shaped so much of how I see the world.
If you’ve ever been part of a religion, you’ll know that family is often a core value: the traditional mom, dad, kids, and plenty of them. So, like most teenagers in my faith, I assumed that once I found a husband, got married, the desire to have children would naturally follow. I expected it, almost like a default setting of adulthood.
Becoming a Nanny
Fast-forward to my twenties: I’m 25, married for nearly five years, and… still nothing. No maternal instinct, no desire to have children—if anything, the opposite. But I do love kids, which is why I spent two years nannying Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. I adored the kids I worked with—they were fun, sweet, and genuinely lovable.
That job was my first real exposure to childcare. Growing up as the youngest, I’d never been responsible for siblings while my parents went out. I had no idea what raising kids entailed day-to-day until that first week of nannying. And then it hit me: Holy cow, I don’t want to do this whole “mom” thing, ever.
Don’t get me wrong—I loved the children I cared for, but the responsibility, the constant attention, and the exhaustion were overwhelming. After eight hours, I was completely drained—physically, mentally, emotionally. As the weeks and months went by, my patience wore thinner, and I realized that caring for children as a job was as far as I would ever go.
Now, I know people often say, “It’s different when they’re your kids” or “You experience a different kind of love as a parent.” I hear that, but my truth hasn’t changed. I’m not seeking advice or validation; I’m simply sharing my experience honestly. I don’t expect others to live my life, and I hope my choice can be respected the same way I respect theirs.
Adopting a Puppy
Then came the pandemic, and with it, a new chapter: my husband and I adopted a puppy. And oh, what a whirlwind of love and chaos he brought! Those floppy ears and round little belly captured my heart instantly. In some ways, I imagine it felt similar to what new moms feel when they hold their newborns—just… with more fur and fewer midnight feedings.
But make no mistake: puppies are hard work. Potty training, late-night trips outside, teaching basic commands—it was exhausting. My husband and I argued a few times that first month, sleep-deprived and overwhelmed. Looking back, that period confirmed what I already knew: kids, for us, wouldn’t work.
You might be thinking, “It’s a learning curve; you’d get used to it.” And maybe. But for me, the desire isn’t there—not a tiny spark, not a flicker. I’ve often wished I could feel that instinct to be a mom, to follow the path everyone expects. But slowly, I’m accepting that my calling is different. I’m meant for a life that doesn’t fit the traditional mold.
Embracing the Childfree Life
And you know what? I love my life exactly as it is. I’ve embraced the childfree lifestyle fully, and I want others who are walking the same path to know: this journey isn’t always easy, but it’s valid, and it’s yours to live without apology. Your choices shouldn’t be fodder for gossip or judgment.
Living my best life means breakfast dates with my husband while our pups nap at home chewing on peanut butter bones, spontaneous weekend trips, and the freedom to make memories that suit us. Life is short, and it’s meant to be lived your way. Whether that means having kids or not, whether it’s a bustling household or a quiet one, what matters is that you live authentically and joyfully. Live YOUR best life.”
